One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize