I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
