do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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