theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
