you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
