Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
