please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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