The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
