3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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