it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize