So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
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I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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