I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize