my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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