you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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