Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
