Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
