he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
