I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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