I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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