hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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