I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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