highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
