Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
