okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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