xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
