I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
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I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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