nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
