Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So apparently I’m into choking now
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