can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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