Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
