and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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