The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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