either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
