New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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