I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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