Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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