The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize