let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
