we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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