I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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