so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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