This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
