I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
