dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
