I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
