I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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