I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize