She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
