DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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