I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
