What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
